OOC Cake
by rockangel160
Summary: A mysterious dessert leaves everyone Yuki knows and cares for the complete opposite of their normal selves. It's as if the whole world is upside down! Can Yuki find a way to turn his friends and family back to normal? WARNING: OOCness to the MAX!
1. Chapter 1

Yuki arrived home after a long student council meeting at school. He was exhausted, and he was not feeling well. As soon as he walked into Shigure's house, he plopped himself down on the couch and tried to take a nap. However, before he could sleep, Tohru burst in from the kitchen to greet him.

"Oh, welcome home, Yuki! How was the student council meeting?" She greeted in her usual manner.

"It went well, Ms. Honda. Do I smell something from the kitchen?" Yuki asked.

"Oh, yes! I tried a delicious piece of cake from the supermarket earlier this evening! Some nice old woman was giving free samples, and she was so nice as to give me the recipe! So, I'm making some for everybody." Tohru recalled.

"That's very thoughtful, Ms. Honda, but I'm afraid I won't be able to have any cake today." Yuki said in his usual elegant manner.

"Why not? Are you alright?" Tohru asked worriedly.

"My stomach isn't feeling well, and I have a headache." Yuki said exhausted.

"Oh no! Should we call Hatori? We should do something!" Tohru said getting all worked up and panicky.

"No, that won't be necessary. I just need to take an aspirin and get some sleep, that's all." Yuki said heading towards the medicine cabinet in the kitchen.

"All right, but if there's anything you need, anything at all, you let me know, okay?" Tohru said concerned.

"That's very nice of you, Ms. Honda. I'll keep that in mind." Yuki said as he swallowed the pill and crawled upstairs to his room and went to sleep.

The next morning, Yuki felt a little better. He didn't feel sick enough to the point where he had to miss school, so he headed downstairs for breakfast.

"Oh, good morning, Yuki! I hope you're feeling better!" Tohru beamed as she served him pancakes.

"I do, thank you very much, Ms. Honda." Yuki groaned as he tried to get out of his morning state.

"Ah, Yuki! Glad to see you're feeling better. Tohru made the most delicious cake yesterday! You should've had a piece." Shigure greeted as Tohru poured syrup on his pancakes.

"Heh, he probably didn't have any because he was worried that cake would go straight to his thighs." Kyo smugged as he drank his orange juice.

"I didn't have any because looking at your stupid face all day made me lose my appetite, stupid cat." Yuki shot back calmly.

"Don't worry, Yuki! I save you a piece. And I made enough for you to give some to the student council and for Uo and Hana." Tohru said as she pulled out the big cake box from the fridge.

"Indeed, also I'm going to give some to people back at the main house!" Shigure cheered as he patted a big container of cake slices.

When they went to school, Yuki met up with the student council in their normal meeting room.

"Yun-Yun! You brought me cake! I knew you loved me!" Kakeru cheered as he hopped on Yuki.

"It's not just for you, I brought it for everyone. Ms. Honda made it." Yuki explained as he wiggled his way out of Kakeru's grip.

"That means you brought some for Kimi, too! Right?!" Kimi assumed.

Yuki sighed, "Yes, Kimi. I brought some for you, too."

"Why the heck did you bring her some?! You'll only encourage her!" Naohito barked as Kimi and Kakeru ate their pieces of cake.

"When I said everyone, I _meant_ everyone." Yuki responded as he handed Naohito his slice. Then we went over to Machi in the corner.

"You can have some, too, if you like, Machi." Yuki offered as he gracefully put the slice in front of Machi. At first, Machi was speechless, and then she just took a fork and took a bite. She savored it and swallowed.

"It's…delicious. Thank you." She said bowing her head. Yuki just smiled and returned to his work.

Meanwhile, out in the hallways, the Prince Yuki Fan Club listened in on the events taking place in the council room.

"Did you hear that, president? The prince brought cake! From that Honda girl!" One of the representatives whispered. Motoko, the president of the fan club, held her hand to her mouth.

"Girls! That cake could be dangerous! She could have put some secret ingredient in that cake to make the prince fall for her! That witch! Has he taken a bite, yet?" The president asked.

"Not yet, president." The representative replied. All the girls sighed with relief.

"Alright girls, right now we must put Operation: Retrieve Cursed Cake into action!" Motoko announced to the crowd of followers.

"How do we do that?" One representative asked. Then, everyone huddled together as Motoko revealed her plan.

A few minutes later, two members rushed into the girls' restroom, and stuffed one toilet solid with toilet paper. Then as they tried to flush, water poured out from all sides and ran all over the floor of the bathroom. Then, the girls rushed back to the council room.

"Hey! There's a major clog in the girls' restroom!" They reported. All the student council members looked at each other, and then rushed out to see the mess. While they were out, another club member walked in and then took off with the cake. She returned it to the club president.

"President! I got it!" She cheered proudly.

"Excellent work! Now we must test it to see this cake's abilities." Motoko deducted as she examined the cake. She called the representatives of each grade level to her side.

"We must each eat a piece of this cake to see what it does, and if my hypothesis was correct." Motoko ordered.

"Ay-ay, president!" They saluted as they grabbed forks from the cafeteria and dug in.

After a while, the student council returned to their room with Machi armed with a plunger. Yuki looked around to see his cake missing. _Hm. That's odd. Oh well, at least everyone got some. I'll just let it be._ Yuki thought to himself as he drifted his mind away from the cake.

At the Sohma Main House, Shigure arrived with only a couple slices of cake left. He'd already given it out to the rest of the zodiac, now he was bringing it to Akito.

"Akito, I brought something!" Shigure said cheerily as he walked into Akito's room uninvited.

"Don't you ever knock?" Akito groaned as she sat by the window admiring the bird on her finger.

"I let myself in! I got some delicious cake for you!" Shigure said wagging the bag in a swishy motion.

"Shigure, I'm not well, and cake only makes me feel worse. Who made it anyway?" Akito asked crankily.

"Actually, if you really want to know, Tohru did." Shigure answered. Akito just groaned and turned back out the window.

"Alright, I'll just leave it here, in case you change your mind." Shigure said as he left the cake on the nearest table and turned to leave. A few minutes after he was gone, Kureno walked in from the other room.

"What was Shigure here for?" He asked.

"Oh, he just left some dessert that that girl that lives with him made." Akito said not caring. Then, she turned around to see Kureno staring at the box.

"You want a piece, don't you?" Akito accused him. Kureno perked his head up and looked speechless.

"Eh, go ahead and have a little bit. I'm not going to have any anyway." Akito said as she figured whatever the girl made would be disgusting anyway. Kureno, kind of nervously, took a slice and went to the kitchen for a fork.

Meanwhile, Ren peeked around the aisle. She'd snuck out of her room to entertain herself. She managed to hide herself from Kureno as he passed by. _Cake? Why would he have cake? Akito is actually letting him have sweets?_ Ren thought as it was odd that Kureno got to do anything enjoyable. When Kureno had his back turned, she snuck a fork out of the drawer and scurried towards Akito's room. She peeked in to see an open cake box sitting on the table near the entrance. She crept towards the cake and picked up a little bit with her fork. She tasted it, and she had to admit it was very tasty. As she reached for another bite, Akito turned around to see her mother taking a bit of her cake.

"REN?! What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Akito yelled as she marched up to her mother.

"I was just trying a bit of the cake. You would've made it go to waste." Ren responded cattily.

"Look, Ren! This is _my _cake! You have no right to it! You can't take _anything _that belongs to me!" Akito shouted as she grabbed a fistful of cake and shoved it in her mouth to show how it belonged to her.

"You have such improper manners. No wonder no one likes you." Ren shot back.

"Go back to your room! That's where you belong! That's the only place you ever need to be!" Akito ordered as she pointed out the door.

"Fine, I'll go back. At least there, I can have some peace and quiet." Ren said as she left towards the door. As she left, Akito swallowed the piece of cake still in her throat.

"Kureno, get me some water to wash down this wretched cake!" Akito called out as she licked the icing off her fingers.

As the day passed by, everyone went through their normal schedule. Tohru made dinner and talked to everyone with a smile, Shigure acted like a perverted old man, and Kyo tried to fight Yuki. That was an average day for them. After Tohru wished Yuki a good night, he drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, Yuki went downstairs for breakfast.

"Good morning, Yuki. I hope you slept well." Kyo greeted as he served Yuki a bowl of cereal.

"Thanks, Miss H-" Yuki looked up to see orange hair on the person who served him. He rubbed his eyes because he must have seen it wrong. He looked again and confirmed his suspicion.

"What are you up to, cat?" Yuki asked accusingly. Kyo just stared at him kindly.

"Nothing, Yuki. I just made breakfast." The carrot top said casually.

"What's in this?" Yuki asked suspecting some kind of trick.

"Yuki, I assure you it's only cereal and milk. I just wanted to do something nice for you." Kyo assured him.

"Okay, honestly, I thought it was funny at first, but now you're actually starting to scare me." Yuki said staring a Kyo as if staring at a stranger.

"What ever do you mean?" Kyo asked elegantly.

"Seriously, the joke's gone far enough. Just go back to being your normal disgraceful self." Yuki barked as he back away from Kyo.

"Ouch, that's harsh, Yuki. If you don't want cereal, I could just whip up some waffles." Kyo said looking a little hurt. Yuki couldn't take this anymore; he stormed out of the kitchen and into Shigure's study.

"Shigure, Kyo's pretending to have manners, and honestly it's getting on my nerves." Yuki complained. Shigure looked up from his work very annoyed.

"Is that all? What do you want me to do about it?" Shigure spat out.

"I…I was wondering if you could tell me what he's up to." Yuki stuttered seeing as how Shigure's behavior was a little unusual as well.

"Look Yuki, you're a teenager. You probably have a lot of time on your hands and a lot of possible ways you could fill up that time. I, however, have a job and need my precious time, and you have now wasted some of it. I have a very important manuscript due by noon and I've been trying to finish it for the past three hours! So, I don't have time to deal with your pointless teenage problems. Now, let me get back to work." Shigure lectured as he gave Yuki a dirty look. Yuki back away slowly. A trick, this had to be a trick. They were probably playing a prank on him. Then, he thought he smelled smoke. He followed it to the staircase to find…Tohru…smoking a cigarette.

"Ms…Ms. Honda? What are you doing?" Yuki asked he tried to process the image in his head.

"I'm smoking a cigarette, dumbass. What does it look like I'm doing?" Tohru responded vigorously. Yuki examined her from head to toe. She wasn't in her school uniform; instead she wore a leather mini-skirt and a black tube top with a string off the shoulder. Honestly, it looked like she'd raided Rin's closet. She also had some deep shades of make-up on.

"Ms. Honda, what's wrong with you?" Yuki managed to ask after overcoming the lump in his throat.

"What? Besides the fact that I'm a freakin' orphan that bunks with a screwed up family? Seriously, I'm shocked the authorities haven't taken custody of you guys! And cut the "Ms. Honda" crap! I've got a name, you know! Or are you too stupid to get it through your thick skull?! Screw this; I'm getting out of here!" Tohru ranted as she put out her cigarette and charged out the front door.

"Ms. H- Tohru, where are you going?" Yuki asked completely shocked.

"Why do you care, you freakin' stalker?!" Tohru shouted as she slammed the door. Yuki felt so weak in the knees, he needed to sit down. There was no way Tohru could pretend to be that disrespectful. She couldn't even pretend for the play! She must've been serious. What was happening to everybody? Was there a bug going around?

"Yuki, you don't look so well." Kyo noted as he put his hand to Yuki's forehead. Yuki was too deep in thought to swat the cat away.

"Kyo, what is going on around here?" Yuki asked the cat without any sense of rivalry.

"Well, I guess Tohru is acting a little strange. Don't worry; I'm sure everything will be alright." Kyo tried to comfort him, but that wasn't what he wanted to hear. Yuki was helpless at this point so he got up and raised his hands into fists.

"Kyo, if you want a fight right now, I'm ready to give it to you!" Yuki said trying to get him back to normal.

"I do protest I never injured thee, and so good Yuki, which name I tender as dearly as my own, be satisfied." Kyo recited gracefully as his way of turning down a fight. Yuki grabbed his bag and ran all the way to school. Kyo quoting Shakespeare, that must've been the most terrifying thing Yuki had ever heard. He hoped, no, he _begged_ that school would be normal as usual.


	2. Chapter 2 School

Yuki arrived at school, sweating and relieved to see Kyo was not behind him. Yes, he'd always wished that cat had some manners, but a sudden transformation into some calm, caring thespian turned everything upside down. And Ms. Honda…oh, he couldn't even describe it right now. What happened to the angel that greeted him with a big smile every morning? He was actually growing dependent on that smile. He figured worrying about it now wouldn't get him anywhere. He had to focus on school right now and get his mind off of home.

He walked into his classroom and sat down at his desk and focused his attention on his notes. He figured studying would help him get his mind off of the strange changes of personalities.

"Did you not hear me, Uotani?! I said give me your lunch money!" came a voice from the back of the classroom. Yuki turned around to see…Tohru yanking on a lock of Arisa's hair.

"I'm sorry Tohru, I…I didn't bring any today." Arisa stuttered as she trembled like a frightened little puppy. Tohru growled and grabbed a pair of scissors.

"Well then, I'll just have to take these pretty locks of hair of yours. It's not like you were using it to get guys!" Tohru insulted her with a devilish smile.

"Ms. Honda! Please…STOP!" Yuki yelled as he struggled to pull the scissors out of Tohru's grip. Tohru knocked him to the ground and put her foot on his neck.

"This isn't any of your business, you pathetic little mouse…and I _know_ I told you to stop calling me "Ms. Honda". I'm not your senior, and if you call me that one more time, I _will_ reveal your little secret to the entire school!" Tohru threatened as she looked down at Yuki with red, luminescent eyes.

Suddenly, Tohru was bonked on the back of the head with a fire extinguisher, and she fell backwards unconscious. Yuki looked up to see Saki, with her hair tied into a long ponytail with a pink ribbon wrapped around it, along with yellow nail polish and heavy make up.

"Man, that bitch gets on my nerves." Saki said as she looked down at Tohru's motionless body. Yuki felt like he would faint. He got up and tried to speak.

"Ms. Hanajima…you…hit…her…" Yuki choked on his words.

"Yeah, she was bugging me! You could at least thank me for saving you. Whatever, I didn't do it for you, so just forget it." Saki said with an attitude. She returned to her seat, crossed her legs, and filed her nails. Then, she glanced at Arisa who was crying at her desk.

"Look, Uotani, I'm not gonna save you the next time Honda comes over to kick your ass, so you better watch yourself. And stop crying, it's annoying the hell out of me!" Saki spat out. Yuki went over to comfort Arisa.

"Ms. Uotani, what's the matter?" Yuki asked with a gentle voice.

"Everything! I' m a pathetic loser, and I can't do anything right. I'm worthless, and that's why no one hangs around me. I'm so weak, and I always depend on others to defend me. No wonder my mother left! She was so embarrassed to have me for a daughter." Arisa bawled into her notebook and pulled her knees in tight.

"Um…excuse me for a moment." Yuki said to Arisa as he excused himself to head to the restroom. He was practically running to the bathroom. As he opened the door to the bathroom, his head met with a large metal bucket which soaked his entire body with mustard. He let out a groan of disgust. In the puddle of mustard he was standing in, he found a note.

_Don't like mustard, Yuki? Maybe next time, we'll try ketchup!_

_ -Courtesy of the "We hate Yuki" club_

Yuki was baffled by this note, but by the actions of everyone else today, he figured this was probably from his former fan club. He threw the note in the trash and started washing off the mustard in the bathroom sink. He managed to clean his hair of the mustard, but he couldn't clean his shirt or get rid of the smell. He walked out of the bathroom, only to find Momiji…spray painting graffiti on the wall.

"Momiji! What in the world do you think you're doing?" Yuki asked the little German boy.

"I'm just putting a sign here on this wall to show who runs this hallway." Momiji answered proudly as he tossed the paint can back and forth between his hands.

"And who gave you permission to do that?" Yuki asked tapping his foot and crossing his arms.

"I did, that's who. Now scram, I've got work to do!" Momiji answered as he turned back around and continued painting his name on the wall.

"Momiji, you little brat! I knew I'd find you out here." Haru came strolling up to where Momiji and Yuki were. Yuki was shocked to see Haru without his jewelry and with his hair neatly combed back and held with gel, and his shirt neatly buttoned.

"Haru?" Yuki was surprised that this was his cousin. He seemed so…proper.

"Ah, good day, Yuki. Now Momiji, unless you seize this childish act this instant, I'll have no choice but to turn you in to the principal." Haru ordered as if he was some noble lord.

"Screw you, Haru! Maybe if you weren't such a dumb cow, I'd take you seriously!" Momiji shot back. Yuki widened his eyes and then covered his eyes as he prepared to see Black Haru emerge. He stood there for a whole minute, and surprisingly nothing happened. He turned to see Haru, who just rolled his eyes. Then, Haru walked over and grabbed Momiji's arm and dragged him towards the principal's office.

"I warned you not to be such a foolish little punk. Come now, maybe a good detention will rid you of such disgraceful behavior." Haru lectured the rabbit who was trying to pull free of the cow's grip.

"Let go of me! You're not the boss of me! I said let go, you worthless cow…" Momiji's voice disappeared as Haru dragged him down the hallway. Yuki needed to lean against the wall to support himself right now. What just happened? Haru didn't turn black when Momiji called him a stupid cow? Also, he had never heard Haru call Momiji a name before. Normally when he went black, he was in some kind of defensive mode for someone. And Momiji was some kind of juvenile delinquent now?

At the end of class, he headed over to the student council room. He figured whatever was going on probably started at Shigure's house. Some kind of sickness, and Tohru spread it to her friends and Momiji and Haru because she's around them so often. Somehow, he was immune to it, so he probably didn't pass off whatever it was to the student council.

He walked in to find Kakeru and Kimi working furiously at their desk.

"Well, it's about time! What took you so long? We've been waiting for you!" Kakeru got up out of his seat and pointed a finger in Yuki's direction.

"Sorry, I must've…"

"Yeah, well the student body doesn't have time for your tardiness. Now, c'mon, we're losing valuable working time!" Kakeru lectured as he got back in his seat and continued his business.

"Kakeru? You seem a little cranky." Yuki noted. Kakeru looked up and glared at him.

"Yeah? Well, you'd been cranky too if you stayed up all night trying to catch up on all the work we're behind on!" Kakeru snapped.

"All night? Aren't you a little sleepy?" Yuki asked.

"How can I sleep when I've got all this work to do?! Now less chit-chat and more working!" Kakeru ordered as he tossed paperwork in Yuki's direction.

"You know, the strangest thing happened. I was walking down the hallway and the Calculus teacher winked at me. I am not just some object! Ugh, men. They can be such pigs." Kimi complained as she worked.

Yuki stood there with a blank look on his face. _There goes my_ _theory, _he thought. Then, Naohito strolled in about 10 minutes late.

"Yuki! How's my best buddy today?!" Naohito exclaimed as he hugged Yuki very tightly.

"Not…very…well…actually…" Yuki admitted as he tried to speak through the tight squeeze.

"Aw, what's wrong, Yuki?" Naohito pouted.

"Everyone I know has been acting strangely, like they're not themselves at all. In fact, they're quite the opposite." Yuki explained. Suddenly, a girl with long, green highlights in her brown hair and colorful stockings pranced into this room.

"I'm here!" She announced in a sing-song voice.

"Well that's wonderful, but you're late! Now get to work!" Kakeru demanded. The girl happily danced to her work station. After a few seconds of confusion, it finally hit Yuki who she was, and then he went pale and fell into a seat.

"Ma-Ma-Machi?" Yuki stuttered as his heart beat fast. She turned to him and smiled.

"Yes, Yuki?" Looking at her, he hardly felt like this was Machi, the girl who believed herself to be dull and boring, the girl Yuki was beginning to fall in love with.

"What…why…" Yuki tried to speak, but Machi interrupted him.

"Oh, Yuki! You're all dirty! Let me clean you up." Machi exclaimed as she pulled some Tide To-Go from her purse and started wiping on the mustard stains.

"Oh, that's really not necessar-"

"There we are! Spotless to perfection! Just like you! Tee hee!" Machi giggled as she neatly put her marker back in her purse. Yuki rubbed his temples and whispered to himself, _it's because they're sick. It's because they're sick. It's because they're sick._ After a few minutes, he sat down and began the discussion over their next topic.

"Alright, first order of business, the end of the year festival…" Yuki began.

"We should have a circus! Giant tents everywhere! Balloon and clowns! Kissing booths! (GASP) Let's get a roller coaster!" Machi jumped up on the table and pictured her perfect circus. Yuki sighed and helped Machi off the table. His top priority would be to find out what happened to all his friends.


	3. Chapter 3 Main House

After school, Yuki decided to head for the Main House. Hm, maybe this disease was affecting him after all. No, he was only going there to get Hatori to check out the problem. As he passed Shishou's dojo, he saw him sitting in a chair drinking some beer._ Hm, I didn't know Shishou drinks. _Yuki thought as he passed by. He thought he'd go up and say hi, but when he stepped on the dojo territory, Shishou stood up and yelled in a drunken rage,

"Hey, punk! Get off my territory!"

"Oh, excuse me, Shishou…"

"Go on, scram! Don't make me come down there and whoop your ass!" Shishou warned as he took another gulp of beer. Yuki was both frightened and confused, was the disease spreading further and further? He ran to Hatori's house hoping that the disease did not reach him yet. As he arrived on Sohma property, he noticed everything seemed a little quieter. As he knocked on the door he heard Hatori call from inside,

"Door's open!" So, Yuki walked in to find a pigsty. Half-eaten pizza getting attacked by flies, laundry all over the furniture and Hatori lying on the couch in his underwear.

"What happened to this place?" Yuki asked.

"I don't know."

"Where is everybody?"

"I don't know."

"Can you answer anything else than 'I don't know'?!"

"I don't know."

_Okay, well it looks like the disease has spread to Hatori._ Yuki sighed and sunk himself into one of Hatori's chairs.

"What's wrong, kid?" Hatori asked looking at his younger cousin sympathetically.

"Everyone's sick. They're being the complete opposite of what they usually are. I don't know what's wrong with them, so I don't know how to help them." Yuki spilled his guts out to Hatori.

"Oh, well that's too bad. Wish I could tell ya, but it's just not coming to me. Ever since Shigure gave me that cake yesterday, nothing's been clear to me anymore. It's like I'm losing my mind." Hatori babbled as he relaxed on the couch. Yuki's head perked up.

"The cake? The cake! It must have something to do with that cake! Thank you, Hatori!" Yuki exclaimed as he realized the problem. He rushed out of Hatori's house and searched for someone else, someone who could tell him how to reverse the effect of the cake. Who could know that though?

He figured he'd try going to Hiro's house first. If anyone could resist cake that Tohru made, it was Hiro. He knocked on the front door and Hiro's mom answered.

"Oh, hello Yuki."

"Is Hiro home?"

"No, he and Kisa left to see Akito after they came home from school."

"Oh…um, ok. Thank you." Yuki mumbled and then turned pale-faced again at the thought. _Are they in hot water with Akito again? What are they doing over there?_ Yuki thought as he walked a couple houses down to Kagura's house. He met with her mother and got the same response. She went to Akito's house. He guessed the only way to find people was to actually voluntarily visit Akito.

"Oh, it's such a pleasure to see you, Master Yuki. It seems a lot of the zodiacs have come to visit Akito. It's putting him in an abnormally good mood." The maid greeted him as he came to the door. She led him to the living room where Haru, Kyo, Kagura, Kisa and Hiro were. He saw Kyo and Haru playing a game of chess, Kagura sitting on the opposite side of where Kyo was, Kisa painting her nails, and Hiro sitting in the corner.

"Ha! Checkmate!" Haru exclaimed.

"Indeed. Shall we play again?" Kyo asked.

"No, honestly I'm becoming rather bored of someone who is unable to provide me with a challenge difficult enough." Haru moved to the couch and picked up the newspaper.

Kyo sighed, "Hm, is that so? In that case, Kagura? Would you like…"

"No! For the last time, I'm not gonna play chess! I don't want to do anything with you! Why don't you just crawl under a rock and die?!" Kagura exploded.

"I understand if you don't want to, but there's no need to shout or use harsh language." Kyo said calmly.

"Dang it…I just can't do it…" Hiro mumbled from the corner. Yuki walked over to see what he was talking about.

"Is something wrong, Hiro?" Yuki asked.

"Yes, I…I just can't figure out these math problems. I'm too young to understand algebra." Hiro sulked.

"You're having trouble in _math_? Please, that's, like, the easiest subject in school!" Kisa smirked.

"At least he's still in school, Kisa. _You_ dropped out because some kids made a comment about your hair!" Kagura shot.

"_I_ dropped out because it was stupid. Why should I give a crap about what people say about my hair?"

"Cause it means you're a freak with stupid hair!"

"It's a lot more stylish than yours! Plus, my hair isn't the color of crap."

"That's it Kisa! You asked for it!"

"Bring it on, bitch!"

The ground shook and furniture rumbled as Yuki watched Kisa and Kagura participate in a nasty fight.

"Now ladies, violence is not the answer." Kyo lectured.

"Shut up!" The two women shouted in unison.

"Um, you two h-had… the cake y-yesterday, d-didn't you?" Yuki stuttered as he saw Kisa bite Kagura's shoulder.

"Yes, they did." Haru sighed as he ignored the fight and continued to read the paper.

"And you, too?"

"Yes, and Hiro did as well. We were all at Kisa's house when Shigure came to bring us the cake. It was quite delicious, actually. It's amazing how such an airhead of lady can actually perfect such a recipe. However, everyone was acting strangely when they woke up this morning."

"So, do you know how to bring them back to normal?"

"As a matter of fact, yes, I do."

"Oh, thank heavens!"

"Hold it there, Yuki. I do know how to reverse the effect, but I never said I was going to tell you."

"WHAT?! You're not going to tell me?! Why not?!"

"I just don't feel like it."

"GAH!" Yuki exclaimed as he crush his head with his hands and knelt down on the floor. _Great, what am I supposed to do?_

"Master Yuki? Akito will see you now." The maid announced as she walked in. Yuki got up and dragged his feet all the way to Akito's room. _Akito wouldn't have cake. Akito would NEVER eat something that Ms. Honda made._ He walked in and froze.

"Hey man, how's it going?"

Yuki screamed before fainting.


	4. Chapter 4 Akito's Room

"Yuki? Yuki, are you alright?" Akito gently poked him as Yuki finally came to.

"I don't know…GAH!" Yuki shouted as he rubbed his eyes after looking at Akito.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Akito asked worriedly.

"Nothing…Please…don't worry…about it." Yuki struggled to say as he stared at Akito. First of all, apparently he was actually a _she_, said the two growths on her chest which he could now see. Also, Akito was wearing some yellow halter midriff exposing her stomach and some red sweat pants. Finally, there was the dramatic make up and big dangling earrings

"Oh, if you're okay then, you want to play a round of DDR?" Akito asked sweetly.

"N-No thank you." Yuki stuttered as he tried to stand up again.

"Alrighty then, if you say so!" Akito shrugged and went back to her dance mat.

"You…you had the cake yesterday?" Yuki asked a sweat poured down from his head.

"You mean Tohru's cake? Yes, and it was delicious! She's a very talented girl, also she's really pretty. Why haven't you asked her out yet, Yuki?" Akito asked teasingly as she talked and played DDR at the same time. Yuki thought about this critically. _Akito has no problem with her zodiacs dating anymore. We can talk about our girlfriends and he, I mean she, won't get upset. The thing is…will she remember it? Will anyone remember any of this?_ He excused himself for a minute to ask Haru.

"Haru? Is Akito going to remember anything when he gets better?"

"No."

"You swear?"

"Cross my heart and hope to die."

"Alright, thank you." So Yuki went back to Akito's room and answered her question.

"Actually no, and I never really plan on taking Ms. Honda on a date." Yuki said and made Akito stop in her tracks. She paused the game and rushed over to Yuki.

"Why not?! Did something happen between you two? Did you two get into a fight?" Akito interrogated as she was interested in this topic.

"Well, we did get into a fight this morning, but I'm sure she just had some food poisoning. The reason why is because I adore another girl." Yuki confessed.

"Who?! Tell me! Tell me!" Akito jumped up down as excited as a teenage gossip queen.

"Her name is Machi."

"Oh, that's such a pretty name! Is she good-looking?"

"She's beautiful, and I feel we really understand each other."

"Aw, how romantic! I love a good romance! Which reminds me, Shigure gave me a wonderful romance novel for my birthday! I still have to thank him…Oh, anyway, back to Machi. How do you know her?

"She's on the student council with me."

"Oh, so you see her, like, everyday?"

"Yes."

"Does she know you like her?"

"Um, I think I've given some hints."

"Like how?"

"I gave her a leaf, a mogeta, and I almost kissed her once."

"Almost?"

"A cell phone interrupted us."

"Is that so? Well next time, you should leave a giant bouquet of roses on her desk! And then when she walks into the room, you should plant a big wet smooch on her!"

"Um, thanks, I'll give it a try." Yuki muttered. Yuki didn't know what was scarier, regular Akito or the new happy, dancing, dating advice-giving one.

"Knock knock!" came a voice from outside the room.

"Come in." Akito called out. The door slid open, and a middle-aged woman with long, flowing raven hair rushed in and gave Akito a giant bear hug.

"Honey! How are you doing, my darling baby girl?! Oh, you're growing more beautiful every day!" The woman, who Yuki finally recognized as Ren, Akito's (doting for now) mother.

"Only because I look like you, Momma!" Akito embraced her mother like a toddler. Anyone else would see this as a touching mother-daughter scene, but this was the most frightening thing Yuki had ever encountered. He didn't pass out again, but he did need to sit down on the floor now.

"Oh, you're playing DDR? Can I join you?" Ren beamed.

"Sure you can!" Akito exclaimed as she plugged in the second dance mat. Suddenly, Ren noticed Yuki sitting on the floor.

"Oh, would you look at that? Its little Yuki! Get up so I can look at you. Aw, you're growing to be such a handsome man." She praised.

"Thank…you." Yuki muttered as his throat was becoming dry and shriveling. He just sat there lightheaded while Ren and Akito battled it out on DDR. Just when he thought things couldn't get any weirder, Rin walked in.

"Akki! The cookies are done!" She called as she walked into the room. Yuki's eyes bulged once more as he watched Rin stroll right in. The normally scantily-clad girl was wearing a neatly buttoned pink blouse with a long blue skirt and had her hair tied in a bun! He almost refused to believe it was Isuzu.

"Ah, Ren! It's so nice to see you!" Rin smiled.

"Isuzu! Oh, please, I absolutely must apologize for that hair incident. It was so dastardly of me!"

"All is forgiven. I like having it short now anyway!"

"Yay! The cookies are done!" Akito cheered as she bit into one of Rin's cookies.

"Would you like one, Yuki?" Rin offered.

"Um, no thank you…" Yuki mumbled.

The three ladies and Yuki sat down around the table and enjoyed some tea and cookies as Rin, Akito, and Ren had one of those womanly chatter sessions. Yuki did not think the situation could get anymore ironic. A couple days ago, these three would be holding knives to each other's throats! Now they were just chatting as if they had been friends for years.

"Akito, I was wondering, where is Kureno? I had expected to see him around you." Rin asked.

"Oh, I'm not sure actually." Akito tapped her head to think.

"You don't know?!" Yuki asked surprised.

"He took off this morning. I think he said he was just going sight-seeing or something. He didn't say when he'd come back." Akito explained.

"You let him go off and you don't even know where he is." Yuki said not believing that Akito would EVER let go of him.

"What? He's a grown man. He can take care of himself." Akito said as she took another sip of tea. _Ok, I'm not getting any help here. Who else might know? I need to think backwards for this. Ok, who is the last person I'd ever go to for advice?_

"Akito, do you know where Ayame is?" Yuki asked.

"Yeah, he and Ritsu went to the gym." Akito answered as she took a bite out of her cookie.

"The…_gym_?!"


	5. Chapter 5 The Gym

W00t! Nearly 6 months since I updated! It's a new personal record!

Honestly, I'm very sorry I nearly abandoned the story for reasons I can't really explain. Here's the long-awaited update to those who still care.

* * *

Yuki pretty much got the gist of things by now. So in his head he was contemplating what condition he might find Ritsu and Ayame in. Let's see, shy and insecure Ritsu was now probably bold and confident, and bold and confident Ayame was now… well, you get the idea. He was greeted by the gym secretary with another "Good evening Master Yuki" and an "It's been a while since you last came."

He walked in to see a lot of people exercising, and looked for any men with long hair. At first there was no sign of them, so he thought he must be at the wrong gym. He sat down on a bench to gather his thoughts. Then, a man with neatly cut dark orange hair walked up to him in a heap of sweat.

"Well well, if it isn't Yuki! C'mere squirt!" The man said as he picked him up and squeezed him in a big bear hug.

"R-R-Ritsu?" Yuki squeaked. He had passed by this man earlier at the treadmills earlier, but he honestly did not recognize him. His hair, his voice was so…macho.

"So what brings you here? Did you finally decide to bulk up those scrawny arms of yours?" Ritsu asked teasingly.

"Actually, I'm looking for my brother." Yuki explained nervously.

"Hold on, I'll get him for you. Hey Aaya! Get your pasty white butt over here!" Ritsu shouted from across the gym. A frail, silver-haired man scurried from across the weight room.

"I-I got the towels a-and the water, R-Ritsu…" Ayame stuttered. Yuki almost felt sorry seeing his once-proud brother look so timid. Then he remembered he was on a mission to find a way to fix everyone.

"Well, what took you so long? Yuki here has been waiting!" Ritsu responded as he grabbed one of the towels Aaya brought and wiped himself down.

"Hi…Yuki. I hope everything's going okay with you…" Ayame said quietly as he made a little bow.

"Actually, that's what I'm here for. I'm sure you've noticed everyone's been acting differently today."

"Yes, I know what you're talking about. I woke up this morning and I felt like all my spirit had been drained from me. I could just be in a bad mood, or it could be a revelation to how worthless I really am…Anyway, so Ritsu called me and told me he was going to the gym and he was headed over to my house to take me with him. I couldn't bring myself to tell him that I wasn't in the mood to go outside and show my face to people, and he pulled me along. Now I'm just trying to avoid making people notice me so I don't screw up anything."

"It's just a mood, brother. Do you have any idea why it happened or how to fix it?"

"Oh no! You think I'm behind it! I swear I didn't do anything! I'm completely innocent; please don't hurt me!" Aaya exclaimed as he crouched into a ball with his hands covering his head.

"No! I'm just asking if you can help me fix this and make everyone feel better." Yuki tried to explain to his paranoid brother.

"Oh…well, I'm not sure what to do, but I remember in school, one of teachers told me something that might help…" Ayame trembled.

"But before he tells _you_, you have to do something for _us_!" Ritsu butted in as he slid in front of Ayame.

"What do you want from me?" Yuki asked anxiously.

"We…or at least _I_ want you to put _this_ on and let Aaya take pictures!" Ritsu instructed smugly as he hand Yuki a lacy magenta bra and tossed a digital camera to Ayame.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Yuki shrieked.

"I apologize Yuki, it won't be too bad, I promise." Ayame said as he nervously set up the camera.

"Ugh…fine." Yuki reluctantly complied as he headed into the locker room to change. Ritsu had a devilish grin as he followed Yuki with Ayame trailing him. In the locker rooms, Yuki walked out of the changing stall unenthusiastically with the bra under his shirt.

"Aw…c'mon. If you want Aaya's advice, we gonna have to see the bra! Take off the shirt and make sure you fill the cups with toilet paper." Ritsu ordered. Yuki just made a large groan and went back into the stall to do as he said. When he reemerged, Ayame started snapping photos as Ritsu's smile started to seem like Akito's as he humiliated Yuki. _Not to worry. When all this is done, they will be back to normal and won't remember the pictures._ Yuki's thoughts comforted him.

"Alright, that's enough. Thanks for being such a good sport, Yuki! Don't worry, we won't show more than a dozen people. Okay, tell him what you were gonna say Aaya." Ritsu said as he took the camera back and headed to put it back in his bag.

"Well, Yuki…My teacher told me once that to solve a problem, you have to trace your steps to where the problem started. So…how did this start?" Aaya asked.

"Ms. Honda baked a mysterious cake…when she used a recipe a strange woman gave her! You're saying I should try to ask the woman for help?"

"I guess."

"Thank you, Ayame! You really helped me." Yuki said gratefully as he turned to head to the supermarket.

"Glad I could help." Ayame said blushing as he headed out to find Ritsu again.


	6. Chapter 6 The Super Market

Yuki strolled down each aisle of the super market. How was he supposed to find the person he was looking for? It's not like he could go up to any random person and ask "Excuse me, but have you seen an old woman selling a magical cake?" He sighed; if only Tohru had been a little more specific about what the old woman looked like. He walked until he got to the last aisle, where he found an elderly lady with big dangly earrings and a silky purple shawl. Hm, it would make sense that this magical cake was the result of a gypsy.

"Hello, young man, would you like to try some of this delightful cake?" The gypsy asked with a malicious grin on her face.

"No thank you, my family had some and now they've gone insane. What's in that stuff anyway?" Yuki responded.

"Why, it's an old family recipe. It makes the soul feel new and refreshed!" The gypsy smirked.

"Oh yeah, they're new alright. You sold some to a nice brunette girl two day ago, right?"

"Sonny, we're in Japan, they are A LOT of nice brunette girls."

"Well, this one had two ribbons in her hair, and carried around a picture of her mother everywhere, and is, or was, the nicest girl in the whole wide world."

"Oh, you mean the little klutz who nearly knocked all the cereal off the aisle." The gypsy recollected. Yuki would defend Tohru right now, but he had little time and was in no mood to argue with this woman.

"I guess that's her. She gave some to my entire family, and now the whole place is berserk! Please, ma'am, do you have something that can change them back?" Yuki pleaded with his big amethyst eyes.

"Hm, with eyes like those, I guess I can help you. Now please explain to me in detail what is wrong with your family." The gypsy inquired.

"Well, where do I start? I woke up this morning, and my worst enemy tried being my best friend. I tried to tell my lazy guardian, but he was too busy working. Then, the sweetest girl I know yelled at me and took off. I went to school, and she was about to cut off her best friend's hair. Her friend's normally tough, but today she was crying an ocean, then the other loyal goth friend hit her with a fire extinguisher and started painting her nails pink. My adorable cousin was spraying graffiti on the wall until my rebel cousin came and took him to the office. My fan club hates me. I went to my student council meeting, and the school slut is being a prude, my sleepy best friend stayed up all night, my rival is being nice to me, and my dull crush is suggesting we throw a carnival. I tried going to my family's house, but everyone was visiting the anti-social head of the house! My raven-haired aunt and cousins who hate each other were having a tea party! Then, I went to the gym, my proud and flamboyant brother was playing second fiddle to my shy cousin, who made me dress in women's clothes!" Yuki finished, exhausted from contradicting himself so much.

"You could have just told me they were being the opposite of their normal selves." The gypsy grinned.

"What should I do?"

"What you need, my dear, is the antidote."

"What's the antidote?"

"Let me finish. I have a concoction that will undo any paranormal behavior that the person has. They will fall asleep, and wake up completely back to normal, and they won't remember a thing." The gypsy explained as she held up a green crystal bottle filled with a purple liquid.

"Oh, thank you so much!" Yuki exhaled as he reached for the potion, but the gypsy quickly drew it away.

"No no no! This stuff doesn't come free."

"How much? I'll pay anything!"

"12,000 yen."

"Isn't that a little high?"

"Do you want it or not?" The gypsy asked. Yuki sighed as he pulled out his wallet.

"Do you take credit cards?"


End file.
